Mum
I laughed. (I’m sure you remember) I laughed so loud that day when you told me that one day I’ll be like that too. To choose family over work, to choose sending and fetching your children back from anywhere and everywhere first, to choose to skip events and fancy things to stay home with your sick child- I laughed because that’s so old fashion, or so I thought. I laughed because I thought that there is no way I’d give up work to be a housewife and mum. I thought that’s what only weak women who couldn’t survive the pressures of work did.
I was so wrong. Sure you didn’t bring home thousands of dollars every month, sure you didn’t have super awesome friends in high places, you didn’t go out for fancy dinner parties and schmooze the big bosses, you didn’t have secretaries and bosses, you didn’t have to wear fancy suits and drive big cars (okay, you did drive a big car, but not a company car) and all that- but if there’s one thing you’re not, YOU WERE NEVER WEAK MOM.
Feminists all over the world have been shooting down the notion that housewives are happy, and I understand that it’s all about rights- that women belong in the workplace and all that- but you know what, they never met you. You’re happy, you’re always happy. I know because I see the joy on your face when you have lunch with me, I see it when you do the groceries and think about us, I hear it in your voice when I call and say hi- that joy, it can’t be made up. Of course women belong in the workplace just like the men, in fact, they belong anywhere and everywhere. But I don’t believe that it’s weak or degrading if a woman chose to stay home, to look after her family, to keep her husband happy, to do the chores and cook and to look after her kids.
I know this- because my mother is a housewife and she is NOT weak, and she is NOT a disgrace. In fact, I think my mother is empowering. Because she raised a beautiful family, she made sure I’m good and well, she made sure I felt love when I was out of place, she believed in me when no one else did, she intervened for me when no one would- my housewife mother who doesn’t have a job, who has not stepped foot in a workplace- did that for me.
I laughed. I still remember laughing at the fact that I would do the one thing my mother did when in fact I should have been saying thanks. Sure I’d love to work, but if one day the need be, I would in a heartbeat, give up my job to make sure my family, my children, my husband be satisfied first. I can do that now, because my mother took that risk and did that for me. Because of my mother, I think people like her and all the women alike who have gave up something for their family are the strongest women in the world.
Not the ones who earn million of dollars, not the ones who rub shoulders with the big people, not the ones who rule countries and certainly not the ones who make housewives sound like its a weak and pathetic job. No, the greatest women are the women who have raised someone under their care, who have empowered them to be someone worthy, someone great, someone deserving. It’s the women who have to endure the hardships of stubborn children, who have to get down and dirty to pick up after them, to teach them to do what’s right and while doing that balances being a great wife and number one supporter to her spouse- it’s these women that are the toughest, strongest, most empowering people to walk the earth.
It’s a shame how they don’t get enough respect. So to my mother, I salute you. For making the toughest decision- to give up everything to be my mother and my father’s wife first. You gave up so much to make me the person I am today. You are my hero, and I look up to you. I love you.
aLLy
